Nando’s and me. A love affair that blossomed despite our differences and the worst start imaginable.A place that allowed me to shed my prejudices like a snake sheds its skin and become a better, humbler person.
The first time I came here, I actually walked out in disgust. I caused such a scene – “What JUST chicken???!!” that my company trailed behind me in silence, upset that I was upset, and I became the party-pooper that night.
Prima donna that I was.
All that changed though. Like St Paul on the road to Damascus one evening, I saw the light.
I don’t know what possessed me – perhaps some cosmic force, perhaps Quetzelcoatl the original feathered chicken-snake-man-whatever.
But that night, I let my obsession with red meat slip off me and decided I’d try out some chicken. And it changed my life.
The first time I came here, I actually walked out in disgust. I caused such a scene – “What JUST chicken???!!” that my company trailed behind me in silence, upset that I was upset, and I became the party-pooper that night.
Prima donna that I was.
All that changed though. Like St Paul on the road to Damascus one evening, I saw the light.
I don’t know what possessed me – perhaps some cosmic force, perhaps Quetzelcoatl the original feathered chicken-snake-man-whatever.
But that night, I let my obsession with red meat slip off me and decided I’d try out some chicken. And it changed my life.
Like going to the BBQ of the Madagascan uncle I never had, who grilled the chicken (skin included) in a lemon & herb flavouring –a gentle coating that made me hungry for succulent chicken skin and succeeded in absolving me of my childhood squeamishness, something that a qualified therapist never could.
And the sauces! Peri Peri in all guises – garlic, mixed herbs, scold-your-colon-hate-yourself-in-the-morning hot to gentle-caresses-by-moonlight mild it caters for all.
Peri Peri sauce is an aphrodisiac.
It makes you feel better about yourself after digestion – something about how the chemical works its way from your stomach to your brain and down to your crotch – and makes you a better person.
Like a normal version of you, but a thousand times sexier and with heightened awareness of the holy good Jesus light that comes from you and the other kindred souls who choose to come here for gastric nirvana.
Do you know I now put Peri Peri in everything? Including pastas, toasts and hog. It makes everything taste better.
That’s why supermarkets now stock the stuff – we’re in the middle of a cultural revolution and you guys don’t even know it. Soon, demand will exceed supply and there’ll be a Peri Peri narcotics trade and we’ll all be Peri Peri addicts, like crack addicts, but healthier and full of sexual energy. And to think, it all started from this place.
“I don’t get it, all they do is chicken!” - I still hear that from some people.
“Yes, but technically, all Eusebio - that other great Madagascan export - did was kick a football and yet look at what legacy he left us”.
Go in, get your menu, find your table, place your order at the till, and await the food.
Simply thought out and simply executed.
Colonel Sanders, for years you told us that chicken served fast HAD to come sizzled to death in a dune of breadcrumbs and oil. That stuff is surely full of toxins and carcinogens (comments are my own, and not based on sound science) but Nando’s came along, and rewrote the rule books.
Exposed you for a liar. Showed you how it’s to be done.
How those happy Madagascan people eat their chicken and wanted to share it with the world. I see the vision now….
A piece of Madagascar, complete with palms and smiley folk, and great food and great sauces.
If you don’t like this place you are a loser and should never get laid.
PS Bring friends along, enjoy the conversion.
And the sauces! Peri Peri in all guises – garlic, mixed herbs, scold-your-colon-hate-yourself-in-the-morning hot to gentle-caresses-by-moonlight mild it caters for all.
Peri Peri sauce is an aphrodisiac.
It makes you feel better about yourself after digestion – something about how the chemical works its way from your stomach to your brain and down to your crotch – and makes you a better person.
Like a normal version of you, but a thousand times sexier and with heightened awareness of the holy good Jesus light that comes from you and the other kindred souls who choose to come here for gastric nirvana.
Do you know I now put Peri Peri in everything? Including pastas, toasts and hog. It makes everything taste better.
That’s why supermarkets now stock the stuff – we’re in the middle of a cultural revolution and you guys don’t even know it. Soon, demand will exceed supply and there’ll be a Peri Peri narcotics trade and we’ll all be Peri Peri addicts, like crack addicts, but healthier and full of sexual energy. And to think, it all started from this place.
“I don’t get it, all they do is chicken!” - I still hear that from some people.
“Yes, but technically, all Eusebio - that other great Madagascan export - did was kick a football and yet look at what legacy he left us”.
Go in, get your menu, find your table, place your order at the till, and await the food.
Simply thought out and simply executed.
Colonel Sanders, for years you told us that chicken served fast HAD to come sizzled to death in a dune of breadcrumbs and oil. That stuff is surely full of toxins and carcinogens (comments are my own, and not based on sound science) but Nando’s came along, and rewrote the rule books.
Exposed you for a liar. Showed you how it’s to be done.
How those happy Madagascan people eat their chicken and wanted to share it with the world. I see the vision now….
A piece of Madagascar, complete with palms and smiley folk, and great food and great sauces.
If you don’t like this place you are a loser and should never get laid.
PS Bring friends along, enjoy the conversion.
1 comment:
Until I read this, I had never thought of going into a Nando's. But this clip arrived in my e-mail this morning as well, so clearly that's going to have to change!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=9QUh4VaazD8
Great blog by the way!
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